Saturday, April 2, 2011

Imabusybee

I would really like to talk about myself for a minute.  And what better place to do that than on your own blog?! 

I got my hair cut.  Really quite short.  I like it and I dislike it.  I mainly like it.  I will almost totally like it after it's grown about a quarter of an inch longer.

I had another episode of spotting (first one led to an ER trip) with this pregnancy.  An ultrasound yesterday showed that things are going well.  I am still so early that we couldn't even see a heartbeat or a fetal pole/aka what will become your baby).  But everything is as it should be right now and that is very encouraging.  I am feeling sick.  That awful pregnancy feeling and it is EXACTLY like what I had with Jane except I didn't get this way until later in the first (technically second) pregnancy.  It's this gross feeling and you think eating will help it go away.  It's not nausea but I do feel gaggy.  It's heartburn and stomach churning and some weird feeling that can only be described as pregnant.  It's not cool.  I am hoping it doesn't get much worse or otherwise I am going to be a pretty pathetic mom.  I already feel guilty because I am sort of in my own world and neglecting Jane.  I mean, to the outside I'm not, but I am really not giving her my all.  And she deserves that. 

Speaking of Jane.  She is PRECIOUS (what, you didn't know?).  And happy.  And talking up a storm.  And she has all of her bottom teeth now.  And I didn't know this until I counted them in a picture I took of her crying (heh heh).  She won't let me SEE her teeth, even when we are brushing.  She went to her first half-day at the sitter's house and did very well.  I am still exceedingly nervous about it.  She goes back on Tuesday for another half-day and then will be fulltime one day a week thereafter.  SCARY!!!!  When I got to Miss Marie's house to pick her up she cried when she saw me.  I kind of thought she would.  But apparently she did very well and didn't cry once while I was away.  She ate all of her breakfast (bless her little heart) and she played with the other kids and she danced up a storm.  She was starting to get sleepy when I got there.  She saw me, cried, took her Dora lunchbox that was nearby and said, "take Dora wit me, go home" and then she walked to the front door with her lunchbox and waited for me.  Now that broke my heart.  Into a million little pieces.  I know she had a good time though.  But she was ready to go home.  Poor baby.  I hate leaving her with somebody I really don't know.  It makes me feel impotent.  It just doesn't feel natural.  I really like my job and I really like working part-time, but times like these I would quit if I could.

I know what my next baby girl is going to be named and I love it so much.  I am dying for this baby to be a girl.  And I know that since I said that, it will be a boy.  I thought Jane was a boy for a while and I was actually disappointed when we found out she wasn't.  Ha!  Disappointed to get my sweet baby Jane?!  Crazy!  Anyway, even when we thought Jane was a boy, we still didn't have a name picked out.  I do not like a single boy's name.  I can't find one that gets me excited.  Jane got me excited.  We knew a girl would be Jane from the get-go.  Just like I know my second girl will be Kate.  (Katherine).  Ah, I really love it.  It really makes me excited.  Jane and Kate Skinner.  Come on.  Two strong, classic names.  So, whether it's this baby or not, my next baby girl will be Katherine (called Kate) Skinner.  If I have a boy, he may be nameless until he's old enough to pick his own name.

We (read my husband) are doing a lot of work on the house right now.  We got it raised (foundation stuff) last week so now we are filling in drywall cracks and painting.  A big project, although it sounds fairly boring and straightforward.  It's not.  Logistically speaking it's kind of a nightmare.  Only one of us can do the work while the other has to get Jane out of the house.  Guess it's back to Grammaw's.  She's getting kind of sick of us.  We're hoping to have the house ready by Jane's birthday party (April 23).  We have to buy a grill, new patio furniture, paint the house (almost every room), do a bunch of yardwork, and get Jane's swingset up and running in a matter of a few weekends.  It's daunting.  But I think we can do it.  Um.  Maybe not, actually.  I don't know.  It's stressing me out because my husband doesn't want me to help painting.  I trust him, but I trust myself better to do the painting where the wall meets the ceiling.  I have a steadier hand.  Oh my, I forgot I wanted to powerwash and restain the deck.  I don't think that one will get done in time for the party.  :-/