Hypochondria 101

Well, pretty much everyone who reads my blog already knows that I am crazy. So I am gonna lay it all out there today. I need to write this down and come back and look at it from time to time to get some perspective...these are my pregnancy scares to date:

1. Spotting at 12 weeks - went to ER scared to death of another miscarriage. Well, this one I don't blame myself for. Considering my miscarriage started with a tiny bit of spotting, no wonder I was freaked out. I thank my lucky stars that this was the only time I have spotted during my pregnancy and that it turned out to be simply nothing and very short-lived. That was the first time that we got to see our little girl bouncing around on the ultrasound machine. And she actually looked human with legs and arms and all of that. It was amazing. I cried. Hmm...at the time we thought Jane was a boy, thanks to an inept ultrasound tech.

2. Started getting this weird ringing in my ears probably around 17-ish weeks. It was driving me crazy. I could hear my heart beating in my right ear for several hours out of the day. Well, of course I Googled it and got scared out of my mind. I found two women who had this exact same symptom and ended up with Bells Palsy during the last months of their pregnancy. I thought I was doomed. Preeclampsia was also a concern with this symptom, even though most women don't get Pre-e until they are late in their third trimesters. I even mentioned this to my doctor (in passing) and he basically said he didn't know what was causing the ear ringing. Eventually it went away. I would say this lasted 2 weeks. I was nuts while it lasted though. This was one of those things that I was really scared about. I'm so glad it stopped.

3. At the end of November I got this horrible pain in my lower right side. It was a burning/searing pain and lasted for maybe 30 minutes. A few days later it happened again. I really didn't know what it could be, but it definitely scared me. I called my Ob-Gyn's office and talked to the nurse. She said it could be something with my gallbladder or appendix (uh...I didn't think so, but...). She scheduled me for an ultrasound of my gallbladder. Instead, I went to see my regular doctor to have my urine checked for a possible UTI. Turned out that I did not have a UTI. But I did have ketones in my urine and my blood pressure was high. Apparently ketones in your urine mean that your body is dehydrated or that you are in "starvation mode" and burning fat. My blood pressure being high had to be a fluke. I was REALLY nervous, so maybe that had something to do with it. So from that point on I started eating more often and trying to drink more water. I also got ketone test strips from our local drug store. (That was probably a bad idea.) Well, in the end, this turned out to be a bunch of nothing. I only had those two incidents of pain and since then I've been fine on that front. I now assume it was just my ligaments stretching to accomodate my growing uterus.

4. Right after Christmas (23 weeks) I started getting this horrible pain below my sternum. It was pretty bad. After a while, I couldn't even sleep on my sides. It felt like my sternum/rib cage was being crushed by the weight of my shoulders. I even had to miss work because of this. I mean, I just couldn't sleep!! So I went to my regular doctor (saw a nurse practitioner) and they did an EKG. The RNP comes back in after she got the results and said something was off. PANIC!!!! She faxed the EKG over to a cardiologist in town and he said, no it is fine. Um...OK. That isn't what a hypochondriac needs. I called my Ob-Gyn. He said get a second opinion. I did. That EKG did come back completely normal and I was diagnosed with Costochondritis (inflammation of the chest wall) and was told that it just had to go away on its own and there was nothing I could do about it. Well, it kept getting worse. I was desperate for relief. I went to a Chiropractor and he basically cured me within one visit. I couldn't believe it! Now, I did have a soreness that lasted another month, but the unbearable pain was gone.

5. One morning I woke up and while I was in the shower I noticed that my vision was really weird out of my right eye. This was around 27 weeks. I kept seeing these little wavy lines in my peripheral vision. I freaked out because vision problems are often a symptom of Preeclampsia. I ran to take my blood pressure. It was high!!!! Called the nurse and she scheduled me for an appointment to see their RN (the same one who was a total bitch when I had my miscarriage). Went in to see her and they checked my urine for protein (preeclampsia thing) and my BP. All was fine. She wrote it off to a migraine. I did get a headache later that day, but it wasn't bad. Since then, nothing else with my vision has been off. False alarm.

6. 29 weeks and one night I felt like I was having contractions all night long. Called the doctor, they saw me and checked me. Everything was fine. False alarm again. Possible Braxton Hicks.

7. The dreaded stomach virus! This was just a couple of weeks ago when I was 30 weeks. This was truly legit.

8. 31 weeks and I break out into hives. This is where I am now (see prior blog entry) - waiting for those blood test results to see if I have Cholestasis (ICP) or Preeclampsia. For now, this problem is still legit in my mind. I am freaking out over bubbles in my urine (ha ha...yes, that's right) and some upper right quadrant pain which are both signs of Pre-e. The bubbly urine can mean I am leaking protein (bad). Good news is the itching is no longer here and my blood pressure is normal too. Next appointment is Friday and I can't wait for it. I just want to know NOW. I need some peace of mind. I need reassurance that this latest episode was yet another false alarm. For now, even after rehashing all of those little incidents that have occurred to date, I still cannot be soothed or convinced that perhaps this will turn out to be nothing just like the rest.

So.....I have had a lot of false alarms this pregnancy. All of these weird things happen to your body when you are pregnant and it's hard to know if it's considered normal or not. I have had more "mini panics" that are just too numerous to even write about. And when I first got pregnant I told myself that if I could just make it past my miscarriage date from the last time, that I would not worry. I would just let it be. Boy, did I not follow through on that promise. I just hope that my anxiety and stress have not negatively affected this baby and her growth. I really do try to be sane and rational, but I never seem to pull it off. Worrying like I do takes a toll on a person. It just drains you.

I really wish I could be laid back. I wish I could just roll with the punches. I envy everyone who can.