Thursday, June 9, 2011

I Miss Her - Common Thursday Theme

I really, really miss Jane today. I left her at Miss Marie’s this morning and I just feel uneasy about it. #1, the kiddie pool had water in it this morning. Marie told me she emptied it after every use. I do not care that she left water in the pool. It’s totally fine with me if Jane gets in this water. It’s just that Miss Marie told me she does otherwise. What else is she misleading me about? #2, she nonchalantly told me that she gave Jane one of another kid’s Puffs the other day. It’s fine to give her a Puff. She can have Puffs. BUT, she isn’t supposed to have ANY food I don’t send with her. Gerber Puffs have a huge list of ingredients. I know she didn’t read through all of them to make sure egg wasn’t listed. What else is she giving her? Is she giving her food she is allergic to?  And I am mad at myself because I didn't even say anything to her.  I should have.  I just felt like it was awkward timing.  Now it's going to be even more awkward when I bring it up NEXT Tuesday, if I even do.  I'm chicken shit.

Why is childcare so hard?

And when I left I was in a bit of a hurry and Jane so sweetly waved bye to me and I just feel like I didn’t get a proper hug and a kiss and this has thrown my entire day off so far. I just can’t convey to anyone how in love I am with my kid. I am assuming other mothers understand, but it always catches me off guard how much I love this little girl. When I see her after I’ve left her for a while it is the biggest sense of relief. She is such a site for sore eyes, I physically feel it in my stomach. At night, when I lie down next to her in bed I squeeze her little legs, I stare at her, and kiss her sweet cheeks for probably 30 minutes before I can even consider falling asleep myself. She has become my entire reason for existence. Is that healthy? I don’t care. It’s the way things are.

Miss Marie told DH the other day about what a joy it is to watch Jane. This was an unsolicited bit of information too. Jane is so GOOD and sweet. She has not once had a timeout. Even if she were the timeout queen I would still adore her, but I have to brag. She is the best! Miss Marie even says so. ;)

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