I won't go into details, but a couple of my friends have been having some REAL problems in their lives lately. Not petty little "I can't afford a new TV" problems and "I hate my hair and my clothes" problems. But big stuff that is complicated and hard to solve. Stuff that makes me uncomfortable and at a loss for words and advice on what they should do.
This has sort of opened my eyes a little bit. I have the PERFECT life. I have NO problems. Simple as that. I am very grateful.
But I am not chalking my wonderful life up to complete luck (although I know some is involved). I have made the proper choices in my life that has led to me being in the situation I am in now. I am giving myself credit for my great life. I know I will not always be in such a blissful situation and that bad things will happen. But I also know that what does happen to me isn't going to be as crazy as some of the stuff that my friends are going through right now. Making the right decisions makes a big difference in your life and your level of happiness. So major kudos to me for being so smart. I thank myself.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
What is the etiquette here?
I am SO stressed out today.
About four months ago we signed an agreement with a local company (whose name I will not mention...yet) to install new windows in our home. This is costing us $4,000. This company told us it would take about 3 weeks before they got to our job. Yeah...this was four months ago. So today they decide they are going to install our windows. Called me yesterday to say that they would be at our house between 8:30 and 9:00. This morning at 8:15 I get a call from the company owner saying that one of his guys didn't show up. Now they want to store the windows in our garage and will only get to maybe 3 of them today. My husband waited for them at the house. The men who showed up are complete rednecks. Tattoos on their necks, all of them smoking, none of them will really look you in the eye when you speak to them.
And now these men are in my home. UNaccompanied. I am so nervous about this. It is making me sick. #1, they better not smoke in my house. #2, they better not leave cigarette butts in my yard. #3, what if they go through our stuff? What if they go through my files and get all of my personal information? I just do not trust them.
This is a reputable company that has been in our town for quite some time. But ugh...how am I supposed to trust these men? I mean, come on....NECK tattoos!!!!!!
I hate contractors. They are liars. They will say anything just to appease you in the moment and then turn around and do exactly the opposite of what they said. I don't know how to deal with this situation. I am not one to call and get all rude with them because they have the upper hand right now. They are in my home. I just do not like this at all. I really don't know what to do.
And just now I posted the same question on my ivillage message boards and the first response I got was one saying that they would NOT allow anyone unaccompanied in their house. This makes me feel even worse. I don't know what to do. I can't leave work and neither can my husband. I'm just stuck.
*************
Update: Wow...I think I kind of freaked out earlier. I don't know what came over me but I was just so stressed out over that. The solution was easy. I called the company's owner and talked to her about my concerns. She made me feel so much better. Said people will leave their keys with them all the time and even go on vacation while they are working. I know she HAD to say that, but she was definitely reassuring. She said that they wouldn't hire anybody if it was a concern.
I seriously think I freaked out due to hormones. I don't normally get like THAT. I mean, obviously I worry a lot, but that was an extreme case of weird-ness for me. Phew...I'm blaming the baby on that outburst.
About four months ago we signed an agreement with a local company (whose name I will not mention...yet) to install new windows in our home. This is costing us $4,000. This company told us it would take about 3 weeks before they got to our job. Yeah...this was four months ago. So today they decide they are going to install our windows. Called me yesterday to say that they would be at our house between 8:30 and 9:00. This morning at 8:15 I get a call from the company owner saying that one of his guys didn't show up. Now they want to store the windows in our garage and will only get to maybe 3 of them today. My husband waited for them at the house. The men who showed up are complete rednecks. Tattoos on their necks, all of them smoking, none of them will really look you in the eye when you speak to them.
And now these men are in my home. UNaccompanied. I am so nervous about this. It is making me sick. #1, they better not smoke in my house. #2, they better not leave cigarette butts in my yard. #3, what if they go through our stuff? What if they go through my files and get all of my personal information? I just do not trust them.
This is a reputable company that has been in our town for quite some time. But ugh...how am I supposed to trust these men? I mean, come on....NECK tattoos!!!!!!
I hate contractors. They are liars. They will say anything just to appease you in the moment and then turn around and do exactly the opposite of what they said. I don't know how to deal with this situation. I am not one to call and get all rude with them because they have the upper hand right now. They are in my home. I just do not like this at all. I really don't know what to do.
And just now I posted the same question on my ivillage message boards and the first response I got was one saying that they would NOT allow anyone unaccompanied in their house. This makes me feel even worse. I don't know what to do. I can't leave work and neither can my husband. I'm just stuck.
*************
Update: Wow...I think I kind of freaked out earlier. I don't know what came over me but I was just so stressed out over that. The solution was easy. I called the company's owner and talked to her about my concerns. She made me feel so much better. Said people will leave their keys with them all the time and even go on vacation while they are working. I know she HAD to say that, but she was definitely reassuring. She said that they wouldn't hire anybody if it was a concern.
I seriously think I freaked out due to hormones. I don't normally get like THAT. I mean, obviously I worry a lot, but that was an extreme case of weird-ness for me. Phew...I'm blaming the baby on that outburst.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Must Be the Pregnancy Hormones
I say it a lot. I love my husband. He's the best. But I feel like I need to say it again today. I am so lucky to have him in my life. I didn't do anything to deserve a good marriage/husband. It's just dumb luck. I don't necessarily think I am a desirable mate. It's not like I have many really great qualities. I'm sometimes selfish, I am clingy, jealous, and I can be quite mean when I put my mind to it. But yet here I am, married to the perfect person for me. Not that we don't ever have our problems. Of course there have been some slumps. But I just want the universe to know that I am grateful. I want my husband to know that I am aware of the inequities in our marriage. I feel like I don't deserve him. He's too good for me. But I will take him and keep him and appreciate every moment I have with him.
I say this because I am currently in a state of panic over him leaving me for just one night. I don't know WHY I don't want him to visit his friends in Nashville. And it seems very petty and selfish of me to even tell him that I don't want him to go. Yet, I can't help it. I obviously am a chronic worrier and with me being pregnant, my fear of him dying or getting injured has increased tenfold. I don't want him to leave my sight. I'm scared. I feel very vulnerable. I know it may not be rational, but it's the way I feel.
I have no insightful closing. I am just feeling very lucky and very worried at the same time today and had to get it on paper.
I say this because I am currently in a state of panic over him leaving me for just one night. I don't know WHY I don't want him to visit his friends in Nashville. And it seems very petty and selfish of me to even tell him that I don't want him to go. Yet, I can't help it. I obviously am a chronic worrier and with me being pregnant, my fear of him dying or getting injured has increased tenfold. I don't want him to leave my sight. I'm scared. I feel very vulnerable. I know it may not be rational, but it's the way I feel.
I have no insightful closing. I am just feeling very lucky and very worried at the same time today and had to get it on paper.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Elation
I've had a lot happen in the last several days. I am finally GIDDY about being pregnant.
Early Wednesday morning woke up to cramping, diarrhea and some SPOTTING. Needless to say, I completely panicked. I woke DH and he immediately agreed we'd go to the ER. So we did. I got there at the perfect time...5:30 a.m. Got right in and hardly had to wait at all. The internal exam showed no visible bleeding and a closed cervix, which was a good sign. But the best part of the visit was that they got me in for an ultrasound. WE SAW THE BABY he was measuring at 12 weeks with a heartbeat of 162. I say "he" because the ultrasound tech clearly saw a great picture where the baby's legs were spread wide open and there was definitely a little "thing" between his legs. It was amazing to see the baby moving around. I cried.
So I went to see my ob-gyn yesterday and he confirmed that everything looked great. Apparently, diarrhea can cause UTERINE contractions and I had an irritated cervix so that may be the explanation for the spotting. I haven't had any since, so that's a good thing. My doctor is amazing. He took the time to answer all of my questions (I had a list) and he tried to hear the heartbeat via Doppler. He couldn't find it, so I got another ultrasound. Baby was still there kicking and squirming away. So neat and so cute. I even got a picture this time. :)
Doctor did say that it is definitely way too early to call it a boy. So I have to erase the thought of a boy in my mind. I don't want to get attached to one sex too early.
Later that night I used my own rented doppler to search for the heartbeat and guess what? FOUND IT! I had a feeling I could.
Everything is great. I am happy is an understatement. I am starting to relax a little bit. I am starting to bond with baby. I love being pregnant!! Even though I am sick and tired, I am just elated to be where I am right now. I love maternity clothes, I love that I'm getting a thicker waistline, I love it all.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Baby stuff
I bought my first maternity clothes over the weekend. I don't necessarily NEED them just yet, but considering that my fall clothes from last year are too small (yeah, they would be too small even if I had never gotten pregnant) I figured I might as well. I have 10 days to return the items, so if there is no heartbeat on Thursday and I find out the worst has happened, at least I will still have time to return these clothes. I bought the stuff from Motherhood Maternity. I am a bit surprised at how little time they give you to return the items. But their clothes are awesome. I mean, even if I wasn't pregnant some of the tops I got are just so cute. The "maternity look" is in anyway right now. Now I can finally participate. When I wasn't pregnant I just looked ridiculous in them. Now I feel all neat wearing maternity clothes. There is a certain freedom in wearing this stuff. You are allowed to be your own shape and that's nice.
So, in other news, I have my next prenatal appointment this Thursday morning. I am really nervous about it. They are going to try and hear the heartbeat with a fetal doppler. I rented one and have tried three times to hear the heartbeat on my own. Failed each time. That's a little disconcerting. But not entirely since I have read that this early on it is not necessarily a sure bet that you will hear it. My uterus is tipped and I do have a little extra padding, so I am hoping this is the reason for no heartbeat.
In my heart I feel like everything with the pregnancy is fine. This kind of scares me because if I find out it isn't, then I will be all the more devastated. We'll see...all I can do is wait.
I'm still feeling pretty icky. Most of the time I feel OK but I'm finding that I am always hungry yet never wanting to eat anything. Food doesn't taste good at all. I get headaches, heartburn, indigestion and fatigue. Ah the joys. I seriously wouldn't trade it. I love every second of each symptom I have. I've gotten lucky with the nausea/vomitting. Hardly any nausea at all and zero vomitting. So even though I really wanted morning sickness, it's a good thing I didn't get it and still have a hopefully healthy pregnancy.
And lastly, let me just say that my husband is a saint. I seriously don't know how I would make it without him. He has made a big breakfast for me (us) the last two Sundays and he has been cleaning the house too. He's just wonderful. Without him I'd be in big trouble.
So, in other news, I have my next prenatal appointment this Thursday morning. I am really nervous about it. They are going to try and hear the heartbeat with a fetal doppler. I rented one and have tried three times to hear the heartbeat on my own. Failed each time. That's a little disconcerting. But not entirely since I have read that this early on it is not necessarily a sure bet that you will hear it. My uterus is tipped and I do have a little extra padding, so I am hoping this is the reason for no heartbeat.
In my heart I feel like everything with the pregnancy is fine. This kind of scares me because if I find out it isn't, then I will be all the more devastated. We'll see...all I can do is wait.
I'm still feeling pretty icky. Most of the time I feel OK but I'm finding that I am always hungry yet never wanting to eat anything. Food doesn't taste good at all. I get headaches, heartburn, indigestion and fatigue. Ah the joys. I seriously wouldn't trade it. I love every second of each symptom I have. I've gotten lucky with the nausea/vomitting. Hardly any nausea at all and zero vomitting. So even though I really wanted morning sickness, it's a good thing I didn't get it and still have a hopefully healthy pregnancy.
And lastly, let me just say that my husband is a saint. I seriously don't know how I would make it without him. He has made a big breakfast for me (us) the last two Sundays and he has been cleaning the house too. He's just wonderful. Without him I'd be in big trouble.
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