I say it a lot. I love my husband. He's the best. But I feel like I need to say it again today. I am so lucky to have him in my life. I didn't do anything to deserve a good marriage/husband. It's just dumb luck. I don't necessarily think I am a desirable mate. It's not like I have many really great qualities. I'm sometimes selfish, I am clingy, jealous, and I can be quite mean when I put my mind to it. But yet here I am, married to the perfect person for me. Not that we don't ever have our problems. Of course there have been some slumps. But I just want the universe to know that I am grateful. I want my husband to know that I am aware of the inequities in our marriage. I feel like I don't deserve him. He's too good for me. But I will take him and keep him and appreciate every moment I have with him.
I say this because I am currently in a state of panic over him leaving me for just one night. I don't know WHY I don't want him to visit his friends in Nashville. And it seems very petty and selfish of me to even tell him that I don't want him to go. Yet, I can't help it. I obviously am a chronic worrier and with me being pregnant, my fear of him dying or getting injured has increased tenfold. I don't want him to leave my sight. I'm scared. I feel very vulnerable. I know it may not be rational, but it's the way I feel.
I have no insightful closing. I am just feeling very lucky and very worried at the same time today and had to get it on paper.
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