I don't know if this is my "depression" showing her ugly face, but I am feeling kind of inadequate lately. Maybe it's lack of sleep. I know that can trigger depression.
But those thoughts that I used to get into my head are coming back and it always stems from comparing myself to someone "better than me".
In comparison to the best:
I am fat
I am unattractive
I am poor
I am a bad mother
I am not spectacular in any shape or form
These are those negative thoughts that come into my head and have been since I was in the 4th grade. I really hope they go away soon because I would like to stop feeling sorry for myself, especially considering how happy I am in my life. I am so happy and yet these thoughts continue to plague me.
Sigh...I really hope I can get a few nights of sleep this week. I would enjoy feeling put together again.
4 comments:
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. If you can, try and focus on the positive things in your life..
You had a baby. You gave birth to a human being! That means you are practically a superhuman!
You mentioned that you're productive at work even being there for only 3 days. Who can say that?! Not many people!
You keep your daughter happy, clothed, fed, and LOVED. You are most certainly NOT a bad mother.
You may not have much money, but you have a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear and people who love you!
I know it's easy to focus on the negative. Just try and take a step outside of yourself... See yourself as others see you. I know that's really hard sometimes. *hugs*
I don't say things like this enough...but you are a hero to me. You love your child with reckless abandon. You work your world so she has the best life possible. Plus, you looked hot as hell in that dress at Landon's wedding. So, next time I see you I will give you a big 'ol hug and slap a smile on your face if have to ;P
Hey... I've been reading your blog on and off. And there seem to be lots of things you can feel adequate and happy about!!!
Your sweet little baby for starters!!! And your DH. :) And you're gorgeous! Atleast that's what your pictures say. So why the sad face.
Be happy :)
Honey, I just looked at your newest picture and you look incredible. I think you look skinnier than before you had Jane! Believe me though - I go exactly through the same thing you do. That's why I'm a nightmare when I'm not fully medicated. I hope you're better this week!
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