Sweet Baby Jane

In one week I will be the mother to a 1-year old.  This is coming as a bit of a shock to me.  I just can't imagine how this happened.  I have a toddler now.  She is walking all over the place.  She can stand up on her own.  She's talking (nonsensically).  She's a BIG GIRL now.  And I am so proud of her.  I want to show her off to the world.  She is my sweet baby girl and I cannot imagine my life without her.  Just last night I was cleaning the kitchen and I looked outside to our backyard.  There are toys in the backyard.  There is a turtle sandbox.  I used to think things like this trashed up a place.  Now I see that they mean good things.  It makes me very happy to see her toys "junking" up our house.  These toys represent happiness.  Before I had Jane, I felt like something was missing.  I was desperate to get pregnant (and stay pregnant).  A lot of people didn't understand.  They said it would happen soon enough.  Stop freaking out.  Well, now I am standing by that desperation.  I was missing my Jane.  I think I had every right to feel so despondent.  My life without her was kind of empty.  No, I wasn't entirely unhappy.  But I know I was longing for something.  It's really cool being a parent.  It's still incredibly scary and a tad bit incredibly hard.  But it's rewarding and fills your life with so much good stuff.  It's more than you can explain, really.  (I refuse to say "it's the hardest job you will ever love."  So...I won't say that.)  I've often sat and thought, there is no way another baby on the planet has ever been loved as much as my Jane.  It can't be.  (No offense to those who love their babies as much as I love mine...obviously, YOU understand how I feel.)

I will say, I love Jane's name.  At first I kind of thought it didn't fit her.  I was wrong.  It suits her well and I love that her name is so classic and yet so unique for this day in age.  She will forever be my sweet baby Jane. 

I am also still shocked that this kid has red hair.  It's not just tinged with auburn.  It is a full-blown case of the Gingers.  At first I didn't really like it.  I didn't want a kid with red hair!  Now I wouldn't have her any other way.  She is unique.  And that is another reason why my "plain Jane" isn't plain at all.  She's full of character.  She's hilarious.  She is smart and beautiful and her mommy loves her more than life itself.