I Am A Lazy Bastard

Am I the laziest person on the planet? I think I might be. I am ashamed at my laziness. I am outraged at my laziness. I am hoping that by writing about it, I can start on the road to recovery.

Here is what I did Sunday: slept until 10:30, husband woke me up for breakfast (which he made), went back to sleep at 11:30, didn't wake up until 1:30, ate a snack, fell asleep on the couch for 2 ADDITIONAL hours, went out to eat with my husband, came home and zoned out on the couch for the rest of the night only to go back to bed at 10:30 and found out that I couldn't sleep. Tossed and turned all night until this morning. Eat, sleep, repeat.

This is not the behavior of a healthy person. I have to change my ways.

I had so much potential for yesterday too. It was a beautiful day! And I wasted it.

Basic things seem to paralyze me.

Cleaning: I cannot do dishes for the life of me. My kitchen is in a perpetual state of nastiness. We let our dirty breakfast dishes sit on our kitchen table all day yesterday! How can I not just clean up after myself? Something is keeping me from doing it and my only excuse is laziness. I despise cleaning the bathroom. I can't do it. I won't. Dust bunnies are so out of control in my house that the other day I came home and there was a dust bunny on our kitchen table (sans dishes this time). Ew, that's just wrong. My window blinds are so dusty that I am thinking of just buying all new ones. Cleaning them would take too long and be too much work. I'm willing to just shell out $600 or so for all new ones instead.

Laundry: Um, I wear dirty clothes all the time. I will pull them out of the hamper, fluff them up a bit in the dryer and pretend like they are clean. I have a limited wardrobe right now and my laziness with the laundry is only adding to that problem.

Filing papers: If I could just file our paperwork as I get it, things wouldn't pile up like this. Instead I have a good 2-hour filing session that needs to be done.

Taxes: Did them at work. All I had to do over the weekend was file them. Nope. Didn't do it.

Groceries: We cannot get on a good grocery buying schedule. Every day I ask myself "what's for lunch" and "what's for dinner". Every day I am at the grocery store. I cannot plan ahead. I cannot make a list and buy what's on the list at the beginning of the week. I am an idiot. Every week my meal plans are unprepared and chaotic. And oh do I hate grocery shopping.

Working out: I used to be able to do this. Now that I am pregnant it is just out of the question. It shouldn't be. I should be working out. I have the means and the time to do this. I just don't.

Yard work: OK, well I can't really do much yard work right now, but I could nag my husband until he does it. I'm even too lazy to nag! We have tons of branches in our front yard that need to be picked up. We have gutters that are clogged, a gutter that is broken, and a fence that is damaged too. Instead, we choose to let it remain this way and to turn into big fat rednecks letting our property go to hell. Nice. Real nice!

There. Gosh, my laziness just overwhelms me. How am I going to cope with life when I add a baby to the equation? Something has got to change. I have got to get my act together.

The thing is, I am a Type A personality. I love making lists and scheduling things and sticking to that schedule. Something has slipped and my home life is just a chaotic mess right now. I don't know how to get back on track. I need an electric shock in the ass to get up and actually DO SOMETHING! But I can't just do it once. I have to keep doing it. That is my biggest problem. I can get motivated maybe one day a month, but that's just not enough. I need to be vigilant and stay on schedule.

Somebody help me! Somebody make me do my chores!!