Well, it's official. I am finally back to where I started before I went on Weight Watchers FIVE years ago. I guess I did pretty well. I kept off a lot of the weight for 5 years. Not too bad. But now it's back. And I am fat again. I just can't seem to get motivated anymore though. I know that if I went back on WW that it would work. I know this. And I can do WW for like a week and lose a pound or two. But then I get lazy and quit. I think a lot of it has to do with wanting to be pregnant. In the two-week wait when I am having one of those I must eat everything in sight days, I think that maybe I am pregnant so I should go ahead and eat. This attitude has given me about 15 extra pounds on my frame since I started TTC 6 months ago. And another part of me thinks that I am just going to be pregnant soon anyway so what's the point of losing weight now? Why not just lose it all after the baby is born? I guess maybe that's a good sign. Me thinking or assuming that I will get pregnant soon. But no. In six months all I have to show for myself is a fat ass and stomach with no baby in there to blame. Plus, when I finally do get pregnant I don't want to gain more than 15 pounds! I can't have this attitude if I am going to achieve that.
I really don't know what to do. The advice I've been given is to concentrate on the weight loss and then I'll be pregnant before I know it. But that's hard. I want a baby more than I want to be thin. I guess today is the first day of my diet. But I say that a lot.
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