I Don't Feel Good

The title of this blog entry reminds me of second grade.  My mom stuck a note in my lunch box.  I don't remember exactly what it said, but I am sure it was something like "have a good day, Love, Mommy".  I remember writing on the back of that note, "I don't feel good".  I guess that was my 1987 version of instant messaging and I thought she would somehow intuitively and immediately know what I had written her back.  I still have that little note in my keepsakes box. 

I don't feel good seems to be a recurring theme in my life.  I've always had such bad anxiety and I bet it's to blame for a lot of my "I don't feel good" days. 

But, I feel rotten once again.  I guess some of it is to blame on that Vitamin D deficiency.  And then I found out I was also deficient in Vitamin B-12, although not as severely as the D, so that can't help either.  I'm sure I am probably deficient in all minerals and vitamins and I really don't understand WHY.  I know it seems unlikely, but I do eat a varied diet full of whole grains, fruits, veggies, dairy, meat, etc.  I don't get it. 

Today I can barely walk.  My hips and lower back feel like they belong to an 85-year old woman.  I feel shaky and sometimes think when I stand up I am just going to fall right back down. 

I am DETERMINED not to go crazy about this.  I have had (irrational) scares in the past and know that if I really wanted to I could get totally freaked out about Multiple Sclerosis.  But I will NOT go there.  I'm going to the chiropractor instead and just assuming that I am a bit out of whack and that is why my muscles around my hips and back ache.  I will assume that I am shaky because I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (thanks Jane).  I absolutely refuse to Google my symptoms. 

That is a big victory, trust me.