Jane did good last night. She slept from 7:40 to 1-ish. I nursed her (because I am so not gonna try night weaning right now), she fell back to sleep until 3-ish. I nursed her again and she did squirm and TRY to wake up but never really did until around 7am. Kind of sucky to constantly be trying to keep her asleep from 3 am til she woke up though. Funny thing was that I had insomnia last night despite (or because of) my exhaustion. I laid in bed 2-3 hours before I fell asleep. That always happens.
And again, I have to clarify that I am not anti-CIO. Well, some days I am, when I am feeling "holier than thou" and pissed off that MY baby is so hard. It's easier to be judgmental on those days. But mostly, I know that you do what you have to do. One thing I have learned upon becoming a parent, is that you hold all judgment on your fellow parents because you just don't know what their situation is. You don't know what their baby is like. You just don't know.
Speaking of parents and their differences.... I came across someone's blog the other day (don't know her...she's not even on one of my message boards) and she was giving out pointers for baby gear to "newbie parents". So funny because the things she said you should not bother buying were the opposite from my view. The things she said you can't live without, I could certainly live without. I think it's so interesting and great how we all differ. That is why I should just live and let live and stop worrying about other people so much. We are all so different. Just because one person says that their child liked this or did that does not mean mine will. I keep hanging on everyone's "advice" like it is universal fact. I don't know why I don't have faith in my own instincts.
"Faith" is definitely something I don't have. Don't have it when it comes to religion (and not looking for it, thank you). Don't have it when it comes to my body (hence the hypochondria). And I certainly don't have it when it comes to my choices as a parent. Don't know how you obtain this "faith" either. And, quite honestly, I am not sure if I want it. To blindly assume things will be OK is not in my personality type. It seems almost illogical (no, I am not a Vulcan). I think, with age and further experience (I'm only 30 for crying out loud) I will get better. Maybe that is what parenthood is here to teach me: to trust blindly in myself
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