I'm Gonna Age Fast the Next Decade

Well, I wrote an entire blog entry without mentioning Jane.  So now I feel as though I am neglecting her and must update with news of my little bundle of TROUBLE.

She choked on a penny last week.  My mom had her.  Jane was playing down by her feet while my mom was filing some papers.  Apparently Jane (who is faster than a speeding bullet) found a penny on the same-colored hardwood floors and stuck it in her mouth.  My mom thought it looked like she had something in her mouth so she fished around in there and couldn't find anything.  Seconds later she was choking.  FULL ON CHOKING.  100% blocked airway.  She did the Heimlich Maneuver on her and out shot the penny probably 2 feet.  Jane was fine. 

I can't get over this.  I wasn't there.  I only heard the story.  My mom was so shook up by it.  She said it took her an entire day for her face to stop being red (not Jane's face but my mother's).  We shudder at the thought of it.  My mom is always quite calm and collected but this...THIS really unnerved her.  Jane could have died.  Last Saturday night I could have been preparing for her funeral instead of snuggling with her in bed.   It's just...I don't know.  It makes me want to make some sort of offering to the gods.  I want to sacrifice a goat or something.  It's just unfathomable that in a split second I could have lost my daughter.  Forever. 

I'm having a little trouble getting over it, obviously.  I know most people have these crazy stories.  I just...I don't know.  Seriously, she could have DIED.

I'm trying to be grateful she is alive (which I am, of course!).  I just keep going back to it in my mind. 

If you think I was over-protective before, you should see me now.   Now Jane eats wet cheerios.  I soak them in water before I give them to her.  They are too crunchy.  She could choke.  She can eat dry cheerios when she's 12.  A nice lady on one of the message boards I follow mentioned something about her being "attached to my hip" which angered me greatly (oh no you didn't!).  But now I am thinking that maybe that is a good idea.  Maybe I can have her permanently sewn to my hip.  That would avoid any future penny episodes...wouldn't it?

I know, I know...you can't protect them forever.  Blah, blah, blah.  Watch me try. 

And I keep thinking that I won't be over-protective in the way that makes her want to rebel against me when she is 13 and start smoking pot in the middle school bathrooms while skipping class (wait...are you still in middle school when you are 13?). I am hoping that if Jane wants to rebel against me she will refuse to read Harry Potter and become Baptist or something.  Ya think?

Because right now, I am just concentrating on getting her to 13 alive.

I guess it's just going to take me some time to get over this. 

So here is my little penny-eater sitting on the same-colored hardwood floors.  She's gonna kill me, I swear. 

10 months old, 8 teeth, 18 pounds and full of life