Slow week and random musings

I've been sick since Monday evening. It's not very fun. But I'm getting better and on Friday after work we pick up Buckley for a trial weekend to see how he fits in with the family. I'm excited about him, yet I still have reservations about the whole dog thing. I hope it all works out. Tonight we dog proof the yard. Apparently, he's a master escape artist, so we are going to need to patch up some places in our fence that would prove fruitful for one trying to escape.

This week has been so slow, hasn't it? I mean, really. SLOW...

I hate it when you finish a really good book. I just got done reading Green Darkness and now I just feel annoyed at all the other books I try. I am reading "In the Company of a Courtesan" and it just doesn't compare. Maybe I need to take a reading break...

I need to get back into my dieting/exercise routine. I did really good for a week and then I had the bachelorette party. Well, after that everything went out the window. I was lazy on the weekend and then I got sick and now it's been almost a week since I've exercised and I have begun to get back into my old habits of eating out too much. Darn it I hate cooking. When I am sick I just can't cook. I can't even heat up a can of soup. It's too much for me. I can't wait to see what kind of a mother this will make me.

My grandfather is very sick. He's old. He's going to die soon, I guess. I can't bring myself to go visit him. I never knew him very well. Getting old is a terrible business. I wish we could all control the way in which we die. I don't guess many people get the deaths of their choice though, otherwise the number one cause of death would be going to sleep and just never waking up. I feel bad that I don't feel that bad though. I think that when he dies, it will be a bit of a relief for everyone. Especially him. He's miserable. That's no way to live. I guess you expect your grandparents to die, so it isn't that shocking. My favorite grandmother died when I was 16 and that was actually quite hard on me. Since then, I have kind of toughened up I think. Like with Remmy...when he died it killed me. Now when another one of my pets die, I don't think I will grieve as hard. It's kind of like you've been broken. Does that make ANY sense? The number one thing that bothers me about my grandfather being so ill is knowing how it is going to affect my father when he dies. Seeing my dad cry is very hard on me. I hate it.

Well, I will end this miserable blog now. Not everything in my life is bad right now. We are getting a dog and my marriage is wonderful and my husband is happy and I'm very much in love with him. I will focus on the good. But sometimes it helps to write about the bad. It gets it out of your system.

Cheers.