Well, my grandfather died. My dad's dad. It is a relief for my family, I think. It makes me realize that I didn't really know my grandfather at all. He never really talked when I was around. He would ask me, "how is school" or "do you have a boyfriend" but nothing really was ever said about him. He never said, when I was a boy we....
Maybe it was me. Maybe I just never cared enough to learn about his life and to ask questions. I don't really know how many brothers or sisters he had. I don't know if he was in WWII even. I don't know what kind of childhood he had. Where he grew up, what his parents were like, if he did well in school, how he met my grandmother. Why don't I know these things?
I do know that he had a wonderful sense of humor, even when he started to go downhill. He also had to have a lot of patience. He lived with my grandmother, for crying out loud! For Christmas last year my grandparents gave everyone $100.00 instead of the usual $50.00 that we always got. I know it was because Papaw knew it was his last Christmas. That makes me sad.
I haven't cried yet. I will at the funeral. I will when I see my dad cry and when I see Papaw's body in the casket. I just hope that he enjoyed his life. He lived a long time. 86 is pretty good, I think!
I hope I make it to 86. But I also hope that I stop to enjoy myself along the way. Things like this make you think about your own life and unavoidable death. I'm pretty happy with how I am living. I just want all of my friends and family to feel the same. I think I'm going to re-read some of my Buddhism books now. They always help me feel more centered. It's kind of funny. Most people would turn to the Bible and Jesus and all that jazz. Instead, I turn to my Buddhist books. Hmm...maybe I have a religion afterall. No. Not a religion; a philosophy on living. Religions focus on saving your soul and getting into heaven. That's boring. Let's focus on LIVING and enjoying our lives. As far as we know, we only get one life and one body. Buddhism makes me appreciate that one life and that one body.
OK. I didn't mean for this to turn into a discussion on religious philosophies or anything. I did love my Papaw. And I am very sad that his life is over. Even if he lived the best life ever and lived to be 120 years old, I would still be sad. But he is no longer suffering. He is at peace now.
Ciao.
3 comments:
You made me tear up....
As for the Buddhism, I turn to that from time to time also. Fewer rules and judegement then the ol' Bible. There's enough judgement and rules in the world.
My thoughts are with you and your family :)
He was in WWII, but not as a soldier...he worked in an office or something like that. I know you knew this; I've known this forever.
I'm not sure how they met exactly, but I do know that he first dated, at least somewhat, one of Mamaw's sisters, because I remember Mamaw somewhat angrily quoting someone who didn't approve when they first started dating, saying how they couldn't believe that they had the nerve...something like that. I'm not sure exactly; I just heard it about a year ago when I visited. And he wasn't doing too well then, either, and kept saying how you should be thankful for your health. I think it was the same day we adopted Putty. (Puddy?)
So I was wrong, too. He was a military police officer with in texas for prisoners of war...I didn't know that. And I also didn't know that Virgil actually fought in the war.
Pappaw dated Helen first. They all grew up in Centerville together.
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